30 Sep Driving in the Fog!
How to get to the root causes of our problems?
In today’s blog post, Dr. Maria Nemeth discusses how to clear the fog from our lives by identifying and addressing the root causes of our problems. Using the example of Trisha and her financial issues, Dr. Nemeth suggests asking ourselves what we don’t want to know about a situation and telling ourselves the truth to open the fog of our own accord. By doing this, we can find opportunities to address our issues and make positive changes in our lives. She emphasizes that this process can be applied to other areas of our lives, such as relationships and health, to achieve personal growth and success.
Picture this: you’re driving in the country, and fog surrounds you. It’s impossible to see where you’re going. Suddenly, the fog lifts. You’re driving on the wrong side of the road, and there’s a 10-ton truck heading toward you!
What do you do? Do you analyze how you got to that side of the road? Do you look at your parents’ behavior and how it influenced you at this crucial moment? Do you think about your “inner driver” who wants to break the rules and drive wherever?
No, you get over to the right side of the road! Because once you see where you are, your response is natural, quick, and appropriate.
Many of us have had several 10-ton trucks hit us. Whether it’s about our money, health, or business and personal relationships, we seem to be asking questions of ourselves that primarily serve to make that fog even thicker.
- “What’s wrong with those trucks?
- “Why am I drawing these trucks to me?
- “Why am I manifesting these trucks?”
Many of us become “metaphysical roadkill” because we ask questions like those above that serve to perpetuate the fog. They get us nowhere.
In another scenario, we don’t know we’re driving in the fog. We rationalize the sudden crashes that happen over and over again. We say, “Everyone gets hit with sudden downturns. It’s “normal” to have these crashes. It’s inevitable. It’s just a part of life. “
But is it? Keep breathing as you read all of this! I promise; we’ll look at a remedy in a moment.
There are fog-thickening statements as well. For example, when it comes to our relationship with money, some might sound like:
- My parents never taught me to save.
- I picked up my “scarcity mindset” from my parents.
- My father wasn’t a good role model for saving money.
- It will take a while to process all of my money issues.
As you can imagine, these rationalizations don’t help you avoid, let alone deal with, money difficulties. You could apply the same statements to your personal and professional relationships. Or to your health.
Now, imagine a possibility in which you see how to lift the fog from your path quickly and easily. You could see the trucks in that scenario, but they’re a mile away this time, so your course correction is simple, easy, and quick. Or, you lift the fog and see that you’ve been driving on the “right” side of the road all along, so there’s no correction needed. Wouldn’t that be sweet?
Clearing the Fog from your Path
You can take the following steps to clear the fog from your path. They require only one thing: being willing to do what you don’t want to do. I’m using Trisha as an example of the many clients I’ve had the pleasure of working with.
1. Think about an area or issue you know you’re foggy about and in which you continue to have difficulties. For example, Trishia looked at the following:
Trisha: I consider myself thrifty. I’m always looking for bargains. Why haven’t I saved money over the past six months? And my credit card maxed out! So it’s impossible to think about money without feeling guilty.
Her fog: She can’t think about money, and when she does, she feels guilty.
Her oncoming truck: her credit card is maxed out, and she has a significant interest payment for not paying it off each month.
2. Now, ask yourself this question: What don’t I want to know about this situation? In other words, what is it that I’d hate to find out?
Trisha: I’d hate to find out that I have something to do with my money predicament. I wouldn’t want to find out that I’m the cause of not having enough money for savings. That it’s not my parents’ fault for not teaching me about being successful with money.
3. Next, tell the truth: When you say the truth about what you don’t want to see, it begins to open the fog of its own accord! This may be the most challenging part of the process. Trisha went even further in looking at the truth about her money situation.
Trisha: Look, it’s evident that I’m making this situation with money happen. I don’t have a budget. I have no idea what I spend every month until I look at my credit card. I’m glad I’m telling the truth about this! Even if it makes me feel silly.
4. Ask yourself the following question: What am I more interested in living with for the rest of my life: my money “issues” or my money accomplishments?
5. Finally: having answered that question, find one small, sweet step you can take to get yourself “driving on the right side of the road” when it comes to money.
If you can locate a step you can take: take it! If you can’t find a step to take, go through 1 to 5 again until you can let go of your “issues” and turn them into opportunities! This pertains to other areas of your life, such as relationships, time, or health.
Trisha went to an online company that helps people create and stick with a budget. Today she’s relieved and happy because she’s getting married! She met her husband three weeks after starting her budget! That was one year ago.
Trisha’s example isn’t unusual. That’s because when you begin to clear away the fog from one area of your life, opportunities appear in other areas as well! Please try out the process I outlined above. Tell me how it works for you!
Until next time!