“Could we but see the pattern of our days,
We should discern how devious were the ways
By which we came to this, the present time,”
How many times have you asked yourself whether you were on the right path in your life? How often have you worried that you were going the wrong way in life or that you were going no way at all?
If this is true, join the human race! In my years of working with clients and talking with friends and loved ones, this question has frequently surfaced. It’s as if we have a personal Mapquest that warns us when it thinks we’re about to veer off a “predetermined” path.
Since it’s a common concern, I want to dive deeper into this with you. We’ll first set the stage by sharing a poem that beautifully encapsulates our theme. Martha Smock calls it No Other Way:
“Could we but see the pattern of our days,
We should discern how devious were the ways
By which we came to this, the present time,
This place in life; and we should see the climb
Our soul has made up through the years.
We should forget the hurts, the wanderings, the fears,
The wastelands of our life, and know that we
Could come no other way, or grow
Into our good without these steps
Our feet found hard to take, our faith found hard to meet.
The road of life winds on, and we, like travelers,
Go from turn to turn until we come to know
The truth that life is endless
And that we forever are inhabitants of all eternity.”
The essence is that every challenge, every deviation on our path, is essential to our growth and the attainment of our dreams. While this sounds sensible, you and I know that whenever we encounter an obstacle, there’s still the nagging voice that says, “ Have I taken the wrong turn somewhere? Is this where I’m supposed to be? Am I on the right path?”
These questions plagued my mind while writing my third book, Mastering Life’s Energies. In the beginning, I thought it would take no more than five months to write, and I figured I could do it by writing 15 pages each week for 22 weeks. I visualized a straight line that would take me from where I was to where I wanted to go.
Then I began to write. The first week went as planned. Same with the second and third weeks. At the four-week mark, I was happy. Then, during the fifth week, chaos struck. My sweet laptop crashed. I took it to my trusty professional laptop geek. I hadn’t saved what I had written. It was gone. The year was 2006, mind you, and iCloud was launched by Apple in 2011.
Luckily, I had my notes. As many writers will agree, the second draft is often better than the first and easier to write. I caught up with my “straight-line plan” in a couple of weeks. However, my “straight line” had veered off course.
Of course, there were other times when, due to one issue or another, it became necessary to postpone writing for a couple of days. There were times when having a tough time with a chapter, I would ask myself: “Is the Universe trying to tell me something? Am I on the wrong path right now? Should I postpone writing this book for a little while?”
However, the point is that a “straight-line path” is a myth. It doesn’t happen in physical reality. Sure, we can visualize how it should look, but once we begin a task or project, we are subject to the winds of reality, which don’t always blow in the direction we’d like them to.
This curvy, sometimes erratic path continued throughout the year, occasionally intersecting with my planned route but more often veering off in unexpected directions. Yet, ultimately, the manuscript was completed—not in 12 months but in 16.
Writing the book with these experiences got me thinking about what my true path in life is. In coming up with some answers for yourself, I have a question for you:
- What is your true path? The one you envision for yourself or the one you actually follow? You might agree with me when I say it’s the path you end up taking.
Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer eloquently pointed out that when we reflect on our lives, we realize that everything—every meeting, discovery, and struggle—was necessary to lead us to where we are today. Looking back, he said, gives us a sense of meaning and purpose.
This understanding can shift our viewpoint. We’re never truly off our path; we are always exactly where we need to be to learn and adapt. Even when it appears that we’re going astray, if we are willing, we can gain insights and skills essential for our journey. If we are not willing, we’ll simply stay at this point on our path until we decide to learn and grow from our experience.
While writing that book, I also learned something else: the shortest path to a goal is not the straight one I imagined but the meandering path I actually took because It’s the only path that truly exists.
Finally, look at the following to discover the path you’re already on:
- What does it cost me to worry that I’m on the wrong path or that I have no path at all?
- How would it affect my life if I were to discover I’m already on my path?
- Am I willing to discover the path I’m on?
Now, instead of questioning whether you’re on the right path, think about what you’re currently learning while you travel it. I am including a link to the “Life’s Intentions Inventory” to aid your exploration.
I’ve pointed this instrument out in other articles. Take the Inventory. One way to enrich your path is to give yourself the opportunity to see what you are here to contribute. That’s precisely what a Life’s Intention does. Each item listed there is a way for you to bring meaning and purpose to your life: the very elements mentioned in the reference above to Schopenhauer.
When you take this Inventory, you’ll see items that are important to you, the ones that score 5. Pick just one for now and challenge yourself to find a way to demonstrate it in your life. Be willing to be surprised at what you discover about yourself!
Remember, as the title of this article suggests, there is no other path but the one you are on, rich with lessons and opportunities!
Until next time,
